Summer season Visitation FAQs – WomansDivorce.com

Stephanie’s Query: What’s the customary custody rotation between mother and father over the summer season? My ex solely lives a mile from my home, however desires to do SIX WEEK rotations for the summer season to allow them to go stay together with his fiancée in one other state. Is his request affordable? Our present settlement was one week, which I graciously adjusted to 2 week rotations to assist his job.

Brette’s Reply: There isn’t any customary for summers. Some households alternate weeks or months. Others stick with their common plan and provides the noncustodial dad or mum a couple of weeks of trip time. If it’s the identical period of time simply allotted in another way and there’s a good cause for it, it will not appear to be an unreasonable request. 

Kacie’s Query: Our divorce papers state that I get 4 weeks throughout summer season break; 2 weeks at a time separated by at the very least 2 weeks and that I have to submit the occasions I would like in writing to my ex by April 1st. My ex thinks that he can deny any occasions I ask for and make me choose one other time, however there’s nothing within the papers insinuating or saying this. Can he deny the times I ship to him and make me choose different occasions?

Brette’s Reply: He can say no however in the event you can not agree, then it’s important to return to courtroom and have the courtroom resolve. So it is best to attempt to work one thing out.

Ivy’s Query: My ex-son-in-law is entitled to have the kids for 4 weeks through the summer season. However, he’s solely taking them for 1 week; Monday via Friday, plus his weekend. Can he do that?

Brette’s Reply: He does not must take them for any particular period of time. Nobody can drive a dad or mum to take visitation.

Tiffany’s Query: It says in our parenting plan that my ex will get as much as 4 consecutive weeks for his summer season visitation. Does that imply he has to take all 4 weeks collectively or can he break up them up?

Brette’s Reply: Consecutive means all in a row. Nevertheless, if you wish to comply with one thing aside from that, you may.

Teresa’s Query: The joint custody paperwork reads I get alternating weekends and am to choose the youngsters up from college Friday afternoon and drop them off at college Monday morning. Our papers additionally say I get 4 weeks in the summertime. Do I nonetheless get my Friday via Monday through the summer season or simply the 4 weeks?

Brette’s Reply: If the order doesn’t specify a change for summer season, you’d follow the identical schedule. Usually this implies you get your 4 weeks, then the remainder of the summer season you get the common schedule, except your ex has some particular trip time as effectively.

Ashley’s Query: I’m the custodial dad or mum and the daddy is to get 2-3 weeks companionship for summer season trip visitation. Does this imply he will get to subtract the weekends and days which are already scheduled to him? If that’s the case, this may permit him to have 5 weeks.

Brette’s Reply: Summer season trip visits are often supersede different visitation. So if he has Weekend 1 and Weekend 3 as common visits however takes his trip over weekend 1 he does not get a make-up for his weekend go to on weekend 1. Examine together with your legal professional for particulars about your schedule and your state legal guidelines. 

Jo’s Query: Brette, I’m not the custodial dad or mum. My divorce decree states I’ve visitation rights each different weekend, each different vacation and half of the summer season. My work schedule doesn’t at all times permit for me maintain this schedule, and it’s virtually unimaginable to maintain to the 1/2 summer season. Am I obligated to maintain this schedule? Additionally, my ex is continually badgering me for more money…how can I get him to cease?

Brette’s Reply: It feels like that you must make some modifications in your schedule. You’ll be able to go to courtroom or mediation to change the plan so that it’s going to be just right for you. If there’s a little one assist order in place, your ex can not require you to pay something further. In case you are being harassed and it’s really changing into troublesome to handle you can ask for a no-contact order

Chelsea’s Query: We have now custody of my daughter all of July. Yearly her different dad or mum indicators her up for summer season actions nearer to their facet of city (which is over an hour away from us), often inflicting us to must make the drive twice per week. We have requested this cease occurring; nonetheless, it is the identical factor yearly they usually say we’re required to get her there although these actions are by no means mentioned beforehand. By regulation is she required to attend these commitments or do now we have the correct to say no as a result of it is throughout our custody time?

Brette’s Reply: Speak together with your legal professional, however typically the dad or mum with the time is the one who decides what the kid will do throughout that interval. 

Sarah’s Query: If my ex has courtroom appointed visitation for the summer season with my son. What occurs if my son has to take summer season college?

Brette’s Reply: Your little one will go to summer season college and the visitation schedule shall be as ordered – so if college is throughout your ex’s time, it is their accountability to get your little one to and from college. 

Nancy’s Query: The visitation courtroom order has a phrase that states “summer season visitation needs to be deliberate to keep away from any college or camp hours or actions”. What does it imply?

Brette’s Reply: I’d interpret that to imply that the kid needs to be allowed to go to deliberate actions resembling lessons or camp. So if choose is meant to be at 9 am however the little one is at camp till 5 pm that’s when choose up would occur. Examine together with your legal professional who can assessment the precise order. 

Jill’s Query: My ex and I stay far aside. Our 14 yr previous is in highschool marching band, which requires observe and participation within the fourth of July parade and observe once more beginning the final week of July. She additionally performs sports activities for college which supply camps through the summer season. She is meant to spend 42 days out of the summer season along with her dad. She does not wish to quit sports activities or band, however her dad is a 12 hour drive away. How does the courtroom view this when our divorce decree states that visitation shouldn’t intrude with extracurricular college actions?

Brette’s Reply: It is a good cause to ask for modification for this yr and future years. Speak to your legal professional about searching for to change the order in order that she will be able to do her actions and nonetheless see him in a means that won’t intrude. Your attorneys might be able to work this out with out having to return to courtroom. 

Can I insist he come for summer season visitation although he’s in soccer?

Katie’s Query: My sons reside with their father in Tennessee and I stay in Michigan. The 14 yr previous joined soccer this yr (YAY!!) and I am excited for him. Nevertheless, the summer season conditioning runs Could via August. My son says he doesn’t wish to come up AT ALL for visitation. I proposed a 4 week window, of which there is no such thing as a observe for two of these weeks. He nonetheless refused, claiming he’d be required to sit down out 2 video games (which the coach mentioned isn’t true). For the reason that 4 weeks are inside my courtroom ordered parenting time, can I nonetheless insist they arrive up even when my son is saying he will not?

Brette’s Reply: You’ll be able to insist however your ex can refuse to ship him, after which you’ll find yourself again in courtroom the place he’ll possible search to change the order. Then the dedication is predicated on what’s in the most effective pursuits of the kid. I’d counsel you attempt to work one thing out. May you get extra college vacation visits? Work out a couple of weekends over the summer season? Come to go to him? Your son is on the age the place the courtroom will take his needs into consideration so he does have affect over what would occur. Attempt to discover one thing that lets your son go to his practices but offers you time collectively. You may additionally go to mediation to get assist working this out. Speak together with your legal professional about your rights and learn how to implement them. 

Kristen’s Query: I get my 6 yr previous daughter for summer season holidays. It states within the courtroom order, one week after college is over I get her. Now, my ex will not meet on the day that will be 1 week, he desires to tug it out till the weekend. And mentioned who would pay his wages if he took a piece time off to drive to drop her off? Is he in violation if he does not drop her off 1 week after college is out?

Brette’s Reply: If that is what the order says, that is the way it needs to be dealt with. Cannot the change occur within the night maybe so it will not intrude together with his work schedule?

Gloria’s Query: If I’ve full custody of my children, do I’ve the duty of letting the daddy have them for an entire trip interval?

Brette’s Reply: It depends upon what your courtroom order says. If he has time with them as agreed, it’s only in the event you agree. If particular occasions are ordered you might be required to ship them on these days.

Simona’s Query: My ex-husband is spending a number of his summer season trip in Japanese Europe and he desires to take our 13 yr previous twin daughters with him for a few month. They refuse to go for varied causes: language barrier, homesickness and lacking me, concern of flying, plus they concern their father will take them away towards their will. Can he drive them to fly to east Europe and the way can I cease him?

Brette’s Reply: If the custody order doesn’t give him particular rights to this a lot visitation time then he isn’t mechanically entitled to it. That you must speak to your legal professional about what the most effective strategy is. You’ll be able to look forward to him to file papers or you may file searching for the courtroom to enjoin him from taking them.

Simona’s Query: Our kids are 4 and 5 and my ex-husband requested spring break, 4 weeks of summer season break, and Christmas on odd years. This final yr he cancelled Christmas and he cancelled spring break. Now he desires to have an additional week in the summertime however we had agreed on 4 weeks to start with (which I nonetheless imagine is simply too lengthy for such younger youngsters). Am I flawed to not give him extra weeks in the summertime to make up for his canceled visits that he had requested for?

Brette’s Reply: No, you aren’t flawed. If he cannot use the time he has scheduled, it’s his loss. If he desires to change the settlement, he can file with the courtroom. You must contemplate what’s greatest to your youngsters although. Would they like extra time with him? If that’s the case, when wouldn’t it work greatest?

Query: My ex-husband and I’ve a typical joint custody settlement. He works within the oilfield, so he is at a rig for a few month after which comes again to city for a couple of days. I’ve been working with him on visitation as a result of he cannot assure he’ll be on the town on his weekends. I assumed we might proceed to do the identical all through the summer season. However he instructed me that he was going to take the youngsters to his brother’s home and his 13 yr previous niece would babysit 5 children. He can be working greater than 300 miles away throughout this time, so he would not even be with the youngsters. Is that this one thing I can battle? I do not really feel that any 13 yr previous can successfully care for five youngsters, 4 of that are underneath 9 years previous.

Brette’s Reply: Visitation is for him, not a babysitter. If he will not be there, he does not get the time. And I agree that is too many children for a younger teen to be accountable for.

Trisha’s Query: My son is ten and our custody association for the final 4 1/2 years has been that he goes to dad’s each different weekend and one night time per week. The final two summers now we have gone each different week. He simply took a PERMANENT switch to a metropolis 5 hours away. He desires visitation to stay the identical, and have my son keep together with his spouse even when he is not there. Does not this warrant a “change of circumstance?”

Brette’s Reply: Sure it does. That you must work out a brand new plan, maybe two weeks at a time.

Jeanine’s Query: My ex is the custodial dad or mum and I’m non-custodial. With summer season coming I suggested him which era durations that I needed to have the youngsters. He instructed me that they might be spending a majority of the summer season with me as a result of he wanted a break and that if I introduced the youngsters to his home that he wouldn’t be there. What do I do if he isn’t there to care for them?

Brette’s Reply: You’ll be able to file with the courtroom for a violation. The issue is that if he does not need them and you do not need them, you have bought an issue. Would you have the ability to comply with an expanded summer season schedule that will have them spend extra time with you? Possibly there are grandparents who want to spend a while with the youngsters. Good luck

Melissa’s Query: Our divorce decree states that my ex will get the youngsters for two weeks out of each summer season, however I’ve at all times been lenient since he is within the army and doesn’t see them another time throughout the remainder of the yr. This yr I allow them to go for 4 weeks. After I tried to ask him the place we must always meet to choose them up (he lives 5 states away), he mentioned he was not going to allow them to come residence for 3 extra weeks! What can I do to get them again?

Brette’s Reply: You’ll be able to file a violation with the courtroom that ordered the visitation. You may additionally contact the police or maybe his commanding officer and present them the order which he has clearly violated.

Liz’s Query: My ex-husband and I stay in several states. Our daughter spends summers with him and the college yr with me. I am scheduled to choose her up in two weeks however he is saying he is not going to let her return residence with me. My grandparents (who stay close to him) watch our daughter whereas he’s at work. Is it thought of kidnapping if I choose her up from my grandparents and return residence when it’s my court-ordered time to have her?

Brette’s Reply: If the order particularly states when the kid is to be with every dad or mum, you possible are inside your rights. Nevertheless, I’d counsel you speak to your legal professional earlier than you do something to make sure your order is evident about this.

Elizabeth’s Query: What can I do if my little one desires to trip along with her good friend in one other state, but it surely’s throughout her dad’s summer season vistiation time and he will not let her go?

Brette’s Reply: You’ll be able to speak to him and attempt to work it out, or your different possibility is to go to courtroom to ask the courtroom to change the order. Most courts will prioritize a mother and father’ time over time with mates, except it is a distinctive alternative or there’s some option to make up the time with him.

Jill’s Query: My ex is allowed to have 4 weeks of trip with our kids, ages 6 and a pair of. He usually takes the 6 yr previous and leaves the two yr behind (clearly, she is extra demanding of his time and a spotlight and I actually imagine this to be the explanation he does not need her). He desires to take a household trip together with his mother and father, sister, and her 2 youngsters to the seashore for per week. He has acknowledged he’ll solely be taking our 6 yr previous and never our 2 yr previous. I’m against splitting the youngsters like this. Can I refuse to permit him to choose and select like this?

Brette’s Reply: I agree together with your emotions on this. He actually must spend time with each children. And sure, 2 yr olds are a handful, however the one option to proceed a relationship is to spend time along with her. Why not speak to him and level out he’ll have his mother and father and his sister there to assist, so it is a perfect time to have each children. Lay on the guilt journey about how not solely is he lacking out, however the grandparents, cousins, and many others. are lacking out. If there’s any likelihood you may speak to your former Mom-in-law, strive that too. Is he fearful about naps, sleeping preparations, or the automotive experience? Discover out what the issue is after which provide options. Are you able to refuse to permit him to take the 6 yr previous? Technically, no you may’t. He is entitled to the time. You can also’t drive him to take the opposite little one. Should you ended up again in courtroom for refusing to ship the 6 yr previous, he will seem like a foul man, however you threat being accused of custodial interference. Your greatest guess is to attempt to work this out by some means.

Missy’s Query: My ex and I stay in 2 totally different states. Our daughter is at the moment 5 months previous and breastfeeding on demand. I work from home so we’re by no means aside. Her father has by no means met her and has no expertise with youngsters. Nevertheless, he desires to have her for the summers beginning when she is 2. I’ve requested that he permit her to breastfeed so long as she wishes (new suggestions say ideally at the very least till 2.5 years) and that they should construct their relationship step by step. Would a courtroom resolve she ought to go see a person she does not know at such a younger age and stop breastfeeding with a view to do it?

Brette’s Reply: Courts are protecting of breastfeeding, however most likely to not 2.5 years. Step by step constructing a relationship is sensible. Sending her to him for a complete summer season when she is 2 shouldn’t be typical, however I do not know what courts have dominated in your jurisdiction.

LaToya’s Query: We’re legally separated and have filed for divorce. Our separation settlement says he can have our 9-month-old son for 2 weeks in the summertime (customary in VA). I’m having extreme anxiousness over him being gone that lengthy since he solely sees him as soon as per week, has zero in a single day little one expertise, and has been semi-neglectful even the few hours per week he does have him. Is there something I can do to shorten the summer season visitation interval?

 Brette’s Reply: You would wish to return to courtroom and ask to have the order modified. To try this it’s important to present there was a change in circumstances because the order was made. So you’ve to have the ability to present one thing has modified, like considered one of you moved or your little one has totally different wants now. Or in the event you imagine your little one has been uncared for whereas with the opposite dad or mum this may additionally qualify. Then you may ask for a schedule change. And a change will solely be made if the choose believes it’s in your kid’s greatest curiosity. Have you ever tried speaking to the opposite dad or mum? Possibly you may work one thing out collectively the place you may see your little one a couple of occasions or possibly the 2 weeks may very well be unfold out so they don’t seem to be consecutive. 

Katy’s Query: My son is nearly 7 and his father hasn’t seen him since he was a month previous. Now his father has an curiosity in him. I would like my son to see his father and his father’s facet of the household, however they suppose they’ll have him for an entire two months over the summer season. My son does not know these individuals. I’ll comply with per week to begin off and possibly make it two weeks if it goes effectively. My little one has NEVER been away from me for than 24hrs – what do I do?

Brette’s Reply: You are approaching this the correct means. Your little one wants time to get to know these individuals and type a relationship. I’d even suppose per week at first can be too lengthy. I feel he ought to satisfy them with you alongside – at a impartial place like a park or restaurant. Then spend a couple of hours together with his father. Then escalate to a day, then ultimately an in a single day, then a weekend, then per week. It may take time and you do not wish to rush your little one into this. Their expectations are ridiculous and your gradual strategy is the correct one.

Samantha’s Query: My kid’s father lives 900 miles away and his parenting time is per week after college ends till per week earlier than college begins. My daughter is 4 years previous and we met at a police station (prior historical past of DV) for the change. He has not given me a progress report on the place he’s and won’t permit me to speak to my daughter. Ought to I attain out to the police and have them contact him. Or ought to I simply name my legal professional and see what my choices are.

Brette’s Reply: You must name your legal professional. Until he’s required to take care of contact with you, he has not violated your order.  Nevertheless, some contact together with your little one can be affordable all through the summer season.

Beverly’s Query: I’ve sole bodily custody of our 8 yr previous particular wants son. His father has not been in his life a lot and sees our son possibly annually. The visitation schedule is ready up for his father to see him for six weeks out of the summer season, however my son has acknowledged adamantly he doesn’t wish to go. He does not know his father, he is by no means been away from me, and together with his disabilities (autism, ADHD, OCD, insomnia, and extreme anxiousness), I am not inclined to make him go as a result of the truth that his emotional/psychological well-being is foremost in my thoughts. What choices do I’ve right here?

Brette’s Reply: Your son shouldn’t be sufficiently old to resolve for himself. You may return to courtroom and search a modification. His needs can be thought of however would by no means be determinative at that age. The truth that the daddy does not have a relationship with him is necessary however the courtroom is mostly at all times seeking to assist and encourage parent-child relationships. You may maybe get a therapist concerned who may resolve it will be detrimental to your little one to go and who might testify. There are two paths ahead – refuse to ship him and wait to your ex to take you to courtroom for enforcement and violation. Or file your self for a modification. You must speak with an legal professional in your state who can go over the choices and advise about your greatest plan of action.

Callie’s Query: My ex lives in one other state and will get 4 week summer season visits and a pair of weeks each different Christmas. However he does not name our son in between visits as required within the divorce decree. My ex’s mom did not give my son his anti-anxiety meds when he was visiting them this final summer season and did not talk about it with me. Our son has autism and is 8 years previous and I do not really feel that that could be a very constructive setting for him. If he isn’t abiding by the parenting plan, do I’ve the correct to not permit my son to go see his dad?

Brette’s Reply: I agree it’s not wholesome to your son to have a 4 week go to every summer season with nothing in between, significantly if he has autism. Your order specifies cellphone calls and he does not make them? I do not suppose the reply is to cease visitation although. There must be a option to preserve contact in between. You may return to courtroom and threaten to cease visitation, however as an alternative have the intent to have the choose inform him he is bought to make the cellphone calls. And there must be an order directing him to maintain your son on his meds as effectively.